Jack Cooper

Nothing quite shows off so well that you're a bit of a knob-end when you post a controversial opinion for all to see. That job is usually reserved to the likes of Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan - by no coincidence two of the most hated individuals in the United Kingdom. But something recently has been getting up my nose, big time.

The whole world knows about the fiasco regarding poor Cecil the lion. You probably know how the elegant creature was unlawfully shot by a US dentist, who paid an insane amount of money for the action to happen. We're talking tens of thousands of pounds here. 99% of the world will never quite understand the incentive behind it, including me. Now you can breathe a slight sigh of relief; my unpopular opinion is not me being a supporter of the hunt. I may be a dick, but I'm yet to discover how to be that much of a dick. I'm sure I'll find a way, somehow.

 Anyway, it's great that this has significantly raised awareness with regards of endangered species being hunted. Maybe there'll be a bit more of a driving force behind stopping poaching, deforestation, and so on. Upon the good campaigning amongst many people to get the guy (who unsurprisingly has teeth that are seriously on point) extradited to Zimbabwe, I've noticed a different type of protesting popping up on the cancer that is my Facebook feed. And it's all coming from veggies and vegans.

If you fall under one of those groups of people, please try to hold back your steaming ears, boiling blood, and slightly audible grunting. I am not aiming to generalise you lot - especially since I'm friendly with a few veggies, and I'm not a dick in their final form just yet - but all this 'different' protesting has all come from them. So, please, bear with.

It started when I saw someone share a picture from Vegan Publishers. The picture showed the poor lion with the caption: "His name was Cecil, he never bothered anybody". Rightly so, the poor thing. Under the Cecil, there's a picture of a cow. The caption there reads: "She was never named, she never bothered anybody either".

K

Now, if you brain works in a rather crude and narrow way, then you can understand the picture, and why omnivores may be a bit hypocritical when they cry about Cecil, while tucking in to their steak. Sure. But hang on, let's apply an ounce of common sense to this, shall we? There was an outcry about Cecil because he is an endangered, protected species. There are many, many cows. They aren't going anywhere. But to kill an endangered species is something else. That's why you hear no international outcry when someone hunts a deer, or a pheasant. In some areas, it's good population control.

Not only is there a blatant difference between killing something that's being vigorously protected versus something that was - whether you like it or not - born to be killed, but the fact that people (yes, a plural) are sharing this onto Facebook is just salt rubbed into the wound. I applaud people who choose the vegan or veggie lifestyle, because it shows they have great empathy towards the world. But I personally believe that eating animals is part of the natural food chain (albeit humans have altered it a bit to place themselves on top). It happens everywhere you look, right down to fish eating plankton. It's just how the living world works. By sharing these posts, they are essentially saying to everyone else "My way of life is right, and you're all wrong for following your lifestyle. Feel ashamed. Become vegan" It wouldn't be something to complain about if I had my meat-eating friends sharing posts about vegans acting stupid, being wrong etc, but they don't.

So if you're a veggie or vegan, then I sincerely applaud you. But if you preach? Shut up.

As part of the Chancellor's recently announced budget, some pretty significant changes have been made when it comes down to how your car is taxed on the UK roads. This new system has several little 'catches' to it, and it's questionable in my mind. As you'll discover, some people will benefit massively, and some will be utterly ripped off.

Let's start with the headline figure: flat rates. Yes, if your car emits some form of CO2, you will always be paying £140 per year - regardless whether you're driving an eco diesel supermini, or a monstrous petrol Range Rover. It's quite a change, when you consider that the rates depended on how much CO2 your car emitted. Now, that doesn't seem to matter.

Except it still does matter. You see, when you buy a car new, you pay a new duty. How much you pay here depends on how much your car emits. But this is only an initial cost, not annually like the current system. Also unlike the current system (which allows you to be exempt from taxation if you emit under 100g/km), you will always pay the initial duty cost - even if you're emitting just a gram. The only way you can escape this time is to go full electric/hydrogen.

From Mail Online

 Are you still following? We have an initial duty cost, and then a flat rate afterwards. But we're not done yet. When the new system becomes implemented, anyone who purchases a new car costing £40,000 or more will have to pay an additional annual surcharge of £310 from the second to sixth year after it is bought. So if you buy your posh BMW, you have the duty cost, the flat rate, and then the what I call 'posh tax'. It's clearly all part of the Conservative's plan on being the 'working people's party'.

Let's do some number-crunching now, and discover who benefits and who gets ripped. I'll take three different cars: a new efficient city car, an ageing hatchback (representing a working class family), and a new executive saloon.  

The Conservatives love you! As long as you're not on benefits, that is...

New City Car - Ford Fiesta 1.0L EcoBoost 125bhp (99g/km)
Current system: £0 per year
New system: £120 year 1; £140 year 2 onwards

Ageing Hatchback - 2005 Vauxhall Astra 1.8 122bhp (182g/km)
Current system: £225 per year
New system: £140 per year (no duty due to the car being secondhand)

New Executive Saloon - 2015 BMW 530d 258bhp (144g/km)
Current system: £145 per year

This will be the same to tax as a Prius. Yes, really.

You may have heard of it, or you may not have. The Yulin festival is a regular event in China where dogs are sold via fierce negotiation, and then cooked and eaten. Horrible, right? Well, if you say so.

You may be very unsurprised to hear that this event has serious uproar from animal right activists. In fact, there is a petition online that almost has four million signatures as I type. Celebrities from all over the world such as comedian Ricky Gervais have managed to get the hashtag #StopYuLin2015 trending all over Twitter. Nevertheless, the event proceeded as normal this year. Still though, it's clear that this is far from a popular event.

But let's put the brakes on our displeasure towards the event for a second, and just bear with me for a short amount of time. You may not agree with my opinion here, but hopefully you will at least be able to see where I am coming from.

I'm going to be blunt here: people are only truly hating on this event because dogs in the Western world are seen as cute, cuddly companions. I mean, how many times have you looked at your next door neighbour's dog and wondered what gas mark Rover needs in order to get a succulent meat without burning the outside? You just don't - and I bet some of you cringed slightly just by reading that.

Meanwhile, in China and a few other countries, the dog is not seen in the same kind of light. Of course they aren't monsters, but they see dogs in the same way that we see cows: a source of food, plain and simple. It's just a cultural difference. To rub salt into the wound, and make us Westerners sound even more culturally ignorant, let me remind you that the cow is sacred to Hindus. Do you hear them complaining? No, because it's called being culturally tolerant.

Some of you may now take the chance to point out that the people campaigning are animal rights activists, not dog's rights. And I'm sure plenty of them are. But I bet my right arm that at least half of the people that signed the petition enjoy a nice rump steak every now and then. Or perhaps some lovely, crispy bacon. Those are the people who are culturally ignorant, and need to understand that a world exists outside their little bubble.

So, for me, the general idea of a dog eating festival makes me incredibly uncomfortable and a little bit squirmy, simply because I was brought up in a world where dogs are quite literally Man's Best Friend. But I would never sign that petition, because I had cod yesterday, and some beef burgers a few days before that. I have no authority to dictate what another culture should and shouldn't follow, according to my morals.

Sorry if this post came across as a little bit rant-like today, but I just can't handle some people who are a bit too narrow-minded. Have you eaten chocolate recently? I think I'm going to start a little community that makes chocolate sacred.


#StopChocFest2015 

I'm a non-religious person. I don't believe in a god, a heaven or hell, and I certainly don't believe natural disasters or miracles are a result of an upper power's decision. It's just not my thing. Now, a few decades ago this would've been an insane thing to publically admit; the UK is a firm Christian country after all, despite what the far right political groups such as UKIP may try and persuade you otherwise. But this isn't a piece allowing me to bash religion, because I don't want to. I know many religious people, and I've never had the urge to change their beliefs, because, you know, it's called respect. But anyhow.

It's widely known now that religion in the Western world is losing traction, even in America. If we take our own country as an example, a survey with 64,000 participants reported by the Telegraph shows that 53% of Britons identify themselves as non-religious. Pretty ironic you might agree, when you consider we have the world-famous Christian Royal Family, and how David Cameron likes to bash on about how we're a firm Christian country. Technically we are, but if the majority of people now identify themselves with no religion at all, then what's caused this noticeable decline?

It's always sat in my head for a long period of time. While it could vaguely be explained with the fact that most young people are liberal and most older people are conservative, I was still left wondering as to why the decline has gained so much momentum recently. But then, an event happened recently, and it all just clicked into place - just like when I complete jigsaw puzzles. That's if I ever could be asked to complete a jigsaw puzzle, but whatever. The event in question was Ireland's recent successful referendum on same-sex marriages.

When the results unfolded on May 22nd, I was happy for them. I may be biased in my non-religious ways of thinking, but I believe marriage should be something everyone can experience. "Typical liberal leftie", scowls a Daily Mail reader.

Ireland's citizens thoughtfully provide others with a free colour-blind test

You may not be that surprised to hear the Vatican did not approve of this vote. Naturally, of course, it goes against their beliefs, and as I said earlier, you just have to respect that. But what a Vatican official said took me back somewhat. According to Cardinal Pietro Parolin, he was "very saddened" by the result. He carries on to say "I think that you cannot just talk of a defeat for Christian principles, but of a defeat for humanity."

Woah, a defeat for humanity? And, Mr Parolin, just how would a gay marriage actually affect you? I understand that as a Vatican official, it is important to retain the Christian traditions. But some traditions are just toxic, and we've moved away from them for a reason. If society kept many old traditions, then I would still see evidence of consistent serious racism and segregation in the UK, and my hypothetical wife would be staying at home every day looking after the house, and never getting a job. I'm telling you, I'm glad I live in an age where that doesn't happen.

So, the Vatican. May I propose that you have to face the harsh reality: people's morals are changing with every generation, but the Christian morals haven't changed since day dot. Once the final generation of general conservative-minded people sadly pass away, then who are they going to be left with? Generally speaking, they'll be left with people admiring Darwin on their banknotes.

That's broad enough to be ignorant, but you get the gist of what I'm trying to put across. If the Vatican want to maintain a strong religious following, then they need to adapt that religion to what the people see as right these days. That means women in equal authorities, absolutely zero discrimination towards homosexual people, and the acceptance that marriage just isn't the done thing these days. I could go on, but I won't.

I've got £10 on the next Pope being the most wonderfully camp person you'll ever see. You heard it here first.

Everyone has a driving style. Even if we were all taught by the same instructor, we would all develop our own personal habits. Some are good, and some make me wonder whether the cliché about finding a licence in a cereal box is true for some drivers. Driving abomination, not style. But anyway, let's not drift away and start ranting.

I'm still not a proud owner of a full UK driving license at the time of typing, but I've had lessons for a whole four months now - equating to about 22 hours of practice. I'm now - without trying to be all big-headed - pretty competent at driving now, and it's just a case of waiting for my test. This means I now fully know my driving habits. Put it this way: I have to control them while with an instructor...


1) Speed may be a nice drug, but it's all about the acceleration

There's a fair stereotype that gets knocked around all the time that 'all petrolheads tear up the motorway at dangerous speeds'. While I've just paraphrased my own imagination, I'm sure you've heard something along the lines of it from some Daily Mail reader at one point. The yoof are such an inconsiderate, dangerous bunch, aren't they? Well, come at me, male sibling.

Let's open the taps every now and then!

I'm a petrolhead, so yes, I'm not one for dawdling at 55mph on a 70mph dual carriageway. But pure speed isn't my kick; it's how I get to that speed that excites me. You see, a lot of people will join a fast-moving road, and be happy to carry on accelerating like an oil tanker. Not only is that a buzzkill, it's actually pretty dangerous. Come on, give the gearbox a workout! Stay in the lowest gears until you physically see the engine's valves jump out of the bonnet, and then perhaps consider a change. The engine noise, the G forces, and the faces of shock when people see a learner car actually outpacing continental drift is enough to make my day.

Luckily, this isn't one I have to hide away from the instructor. You are actually taught to get to speed as quickly as possible, with the idea being you do not disturb the flow of traffic. As long as you stay within the speed limit, you bury that goddamn gas pedal to the carpets and beyond.


2) I'm lazier than [insert witty simile here]

While I enjoy driving, there are times where you can't just mash your foot down and enjoy the wonders of acceleration. Locations that pop into my mind for an example of this would be every urban area in the world. Town driving is urgh. Just urgh. It's the only adjective that works.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuurgh.

Towns involve you constantly stopping and starting (bye-bye clutch leg), constantly looking out for pedestrians, and constantly imagining you winning a fight with that white van man who just cut you up. It's hard work, it's a chore, and it's no fun. To compensate for this, I like to be as lazy as possible. For example, if a light is red, I will glide up to it as slowly as possible in the vague hope that it might turn green before I stop - therefore getting rid of the need to do the whole mirrors-handbrake-neutral-first gear-find biting point-check mirrors-set off thing. If that was a mouthful to read, imagine doing it in real life every 30 seconds in a town centre.

Generally, if I have to come to a complete stop, I groan internally.


3) If you overtake me, I will be looking at your arse for a looong time

Not literally, of course. Though it has already put a weird mental image in my mind - great. No, what is mean is that if you overtake me, my primeval competitive nature gets sparked into life. I will prove to you that overtaking me was a complete waste of time by tailgating you for as long as possible.

I bet you felt real proud overtaking the Corsa whip, eh?

It sounds like a dick-move, and that's because it kind of is a dick-move. It isn't necessary, it doesn't achieve anything, and it probably aggravates the driver in front. But I see it as a bit of a passive-aggressive 'f*ck you'. Now naturally if that driver then proceeds to drive way over the limit after overtaking, I can't carry on tailgating. But to the guy in the bronze Mini Cooper S earlier today, I hope you and your turbo hot-hatch felt proud about overtaking a 1.3l diesel Corsa today. I'm sure you felt so manly, as a nice little compensation.

I have more minor habits, but I don't want this to end up being drivel more pointless than Sepp Blatter's Fifa victory speech today.

See ya soon, random reader.

As I've said quattuordecillion times already (thanks for the number, AdVenture Capitalist), I'm quite fond of my cars - I have been from a very early age. I'm also quite fond of gaming on my PC. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some hardcore gamer with a triple-monitor setup, and a dedicated man cave for my dank rig. No, I'm just a 'casual gamer'. Or a peasant, if you're a scummy elitist.

More to the point, I like nothing more than combining these two interests of mine. So out comes the racing simulation genre of gaming. It's quite a niche sector of games as far as relative terms will go, because far more people prefer a proper action game rather than a dull driving game. I mean, come on, why don't you just go outside and drive for real? Huh?

I don't care how pretty you are, you have atrocious physics

To that, I have no answer. But because there are only a select few weirdos like me who are entertained by driving virtual cars, good driving games are few and far between. People will point out the Need for Speed franchise, which seems to have those developers who conceive a new baby as soon as they've released one. As a result, NFS games aren't the most polished in the world, and the physics suck big time. Where's the risk adrenaline when you can take corners at 200mph?

Then on the consoles you have the likes of Forza and Gran Turismo. Before I built my PC in the summer of 2013, I had a PS3, and I enjoyed Gran Turismo 5 very much indeed. But all the textures are a bit pants, all the cars sound like vacuum cleaners, and there's only so much fun to be had with a Dualshock 3 controller. Forza 5 improves the graphics and sound, but again, the controller is your bottleneck.

GT5 was my benchmark for years

Recently, a few good games have leaked onto the PC. We have Assetto Corsa; a fantastic simulation game in terms of physics and visuals. I got it summer 2014, and I've been entertained with it ever since. Its online mode is crap, the clutch is completely wrong, and the career mode is shallow, but the sheer beauty of it keeps hot laps entertaining. There is a reason why car gamers are niche - we are plain weird. Entertained by cars going in mindless circles with no competition? Pfft.

Pretty sexy, I think you'll agree

However, despite being satisfied with Assetto Corsa, I have been keeping my eye on another game which seemed to be in Alpha mode for ages. It's publically funded, and it's called Project CARS (Community Assisted Racing Simulator). Many 60fps YouTube videos have been leaked, and it looked mouth-wateringly good. It was beautiful. I wanted it badly.

Finally, the day came. I was hesitant to spend £40 on a game which I subconsciously knew would be in the Steam summer sale just weeks later, but I couldn't resist. I took the plunge, splashed my cash, and downloaded it as quickly as possible. And when I mean as quickly as possible, I mean going to the extent of carrying my 20kg rig downstairs and plugging it into an ethernet port. 15GB downloaded in forty minutes - now was my time to play what seemed to be the greatest driving game in the world.

Dirty, dirty virtual porn

I quickly configured my gaming wheel (a Logitech G27, if you're bothered to know), and went straight to the free hot lapping section to get to a car and a track as quickly as possible. I randomly picked the McLaren F1 and the Abu Dhabi F1 track. Initial impressions? "Well, this is crap." Oh dear, this wasn't great. I was hearing no tyre squeal, and I was getting no force feedback through my wheel. Is this going to be a disaster?

I quit the game in a small huff shortly after, muttering that my £40 would be better spent by eating it. But I decided to give it another chance, spurred on by the cost of the bloody game. I tried career mode. Oh, this is actually pretty good. You start with karts. I've driven karts before, and this game matched their habits so well, I was almost grinning by the end of the first race. This was exactly karting, minus the g-forces.

Yep, pretty hot

But what's the point of a game which can do karts, but not cars? Well, I put aside my prejudice, and took a Lotus 49 to the Nurburgring. The engine sound was perfection. The force feedback was magically better. The physics were on-par with Assetto Corsa. And the clutch was behaving like a normal bloody clutch. Yep, this is pretty special.

So, a quick summary, before I bore you too much. The online mode is great. The flexibility there is good, and it's easy to join a lobby and play instantly. Career mode is amazing. You don't have to do the 'start from the bottom, now we here' kind of thing. You can start right from the top classes of cars, if you so wish to. The visuals are amazing. Beauty was the key selling point of this game, and it really hasn't let itself down.

SO REAL

However, you do need a beast of a PC to run it. While I do have a rather outdated AMD Phenom II 965 processor, my graphics card is a not-at-all-shabby AMD R9 280X - a card that makes Assetto Corsa run at a stable 120fps. There are reports that Project CARS is NVidia biased, so even the top AMD rigs may struggle with this game.

With that being said though, this game is a must if you enjoy any kind of racing simulation. You can make this game as arcade or as serious as you want it to be. It'll stroke the beginners' back, and it'll reward the enthusiasts' dedication with utter, utter realism. Congrats, Slightly Mad Studios. You've created a game that will stop me revising for my exams.

When I was walking home from school today, I was listening to Radio 2. Don't judge, the only other station my phone picks up is bloody Heart FM, where 'more music variety' means playing 'Happy' and 'Shake it Off' at least fourteen times per day. Regular DJ Steve Wright was talking to Peter Kay, who was promoting his new sitcom: Car Share. The concept was incredibly simple; a comedy starring two different personalities in a car sharing scheme en route to work. It features Kay's trademark analysing skills of turning normal habits into a laugh. Or at least that was what was being discussed on the interview. I wanted to see if something so basic could be funny. All episodes are now premiered on the BBC iPlayer ahead of the TV broadcast, so if you live in the UK, click the link at the bottom if you're interested.

As a pre-warning, this does contain story spoilers.

The first episode starts with John (Kay) in his car, trying to find his workmate Kayleigh (Sian Gibson) via a dodgy sat-nav. Har-dee-har, a crap satnav gag, how original. My immediate impressions were 'oh god', but I was barely a minute in, so it'd be stupid to judge. Eventually John finds the right house, and out pops an attractive blonde the same age as him. The developing romance was almost too obvious, really.

Two characters, and a car. Job done.

Critically, these two characters have completely different personalities and conflicting views, which provides the main fuel for the comedy in this show. Peter Kay has done well to capture tiny details of what we do when we drive, such as looking at the radio screen when something silly is played (because of course the display recognises your scowl), and subtly adjusting your seating position. All very realistic.

Predictably, the relationship starts off frosty; not helped by an unfortunate accident at the start which ends up with John covered in piss. Kayleigh is peppy, slightly thick, and has a 'Now that's what I call Music' compilation album as her favourite CD. She also insists on having Forever FM on the radio. Think Heart FM, but worse. Honestly, I didn't think that was possible, but there you go. The atmosphere created by the two characters is very well done on a realistic scale, but my laughter was few and far between. Frequent little nose laughs (c'mon, everyone does that), but only a couple of proper laugh-out-louds.

The driving is real, as Kay wanted this to be as realistic and as believable as possible.

There just isn't quite enough depth for me to get properly gripped thus far, but how can you have a deep story in a show that simply has two workmates in a car? After three episodes, you get the impression that the characters will evolve personally, which is a nice touch to keep the audience engaged. John will probably come out of his single life shell, whereas Kayleigh may well stop being so naive.

Quick summary? This show has a realistic side to it. You do really feel like you're simply watching two people conversing with each other. There's no puns, no audience laughter, just two distant workmates getting to know each other. In a way, that's great, but some would argue it's too boring; too basic.

As far as comedy goes, it's more comedy bronze than comedy gold, but as far as making something out of a simple car journey goes, then it's an 11/10. I respect Peter Kay for his obvious hard work into this production, and I want to see him on the TV screen more often. Car Share? I will be watching more episodes, but I don't think I'd ever worry about missing an episode.

6/10

UK readers can watch episodes here!